On Friday, July 25, 1975, Karen Gentis and I became Mr. & Mrs. Michael Failor. Yesterday morning we drove to Fort Wayne from the lake and I dropped her off at the day spa where she enjoyed a day of pampering compliments of a friend. I went home where I mowed the lawn and brushed the cat. Back at the lake, I picked up my daughter, Abbey, and her friend, Joanne, and drove them back to Fort Wayne and dropped them off at Jefferson Pointe to shop and eat. I picked Karen up and took her to Biaggi's for dinner. We met up with the girls and drove to Auburn to see Journey to the Center of the Earth. The story was fine, but the 3D special effects were incredible! We then drove back to the lake.
Our hostess at Biaggi's asked us the secret to our long marriage. Karen said, first of all we both love Jesus. He makes all of the difference. I said that is true. But there has to be more than that, because church folks get divorced as much as non-church folks. You still have work at your marriage to make it work. Karen was when I married her and is now, my best friend. I would rather do things with her than anyone I know. In all of these years we've never allowed ourselves to even think, let alone say, the "D" word (divorce). Karen added that if you think about it you will talk about. If you talk about it you will do it. But the real truth is that we had an agreement, whoever left had to take the kids! :-)
Seriously though, when I asked Karen to marry me, I thought I knew what love was. 33 years later I know that love is so much more than I had thought. Love is commitment. It is putting someone else's needs before your own. Love is believing that your happiness depends on someone else's happiness. The love that I thought I had for Karen when I proposed on Feb. 9, 1975 pales in comparison to the love that I have for her 33 years later. It feels like we've always been married and it feels like we just got married yesterday at the same time.
My parents were married 59 years when my dad died. I pray Karen and I live long enough to match or surpass that record.
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2 comments:
Congratulations! Mike, you make great points--most people don't think you need to work at a marriage. But the term "work" makes it sound like something you don't want to do or something that is difficult. "Working" to keep your marriage full of love and happiness is one of the best parts of the marriage. I find myself doing things I would never do (like camping) if my husband didn't enjoy it. Because of the "work" I put into my marriage, I am a better person! Laura
Mike, you have some really great and inspiring stories to tell. Congratulations on you anniversary. My best friend got married this summer and her grandparents were there. They were asked how they could be married for 70+ years. Her grandfather responded that they were finally getting along!
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