Pacific Time

Has anyone noticed that the time stamp on blogger.com is Pacific Time. I am posting this at 8:58 AM, but the time stamp will read 5:58. No, I not that much of an over achiever!

Year Round School Coming in Increments

Getting out of school the first week of June and not returning until after Labor Day. That was the life. Riding our bikes to the park, going up the hill in Franke Park to see 6 or 8 animals that were native to NE Indiana in small cages on a path (Later to become the Children’s Zoo). Playing games, climbing trees, selling lemonade on Sherman Street with neighborhood friends so we could all walk to the Dairy Queen on Lima Road at the end of the week and eat lunch, those were the days. Summer vacation was a full three months long and could be because all of our mothers were home all day. They didn’t work outside of the home.

But this is a different era. The reality is that most mothers do work outside of the home. Summer child care is a problem. Many children spend the summer in the care of older siblings, some as young as 10-12 years old. Others are shipped off to relatives. And some, sadly, are simply left to fend for themselves. This happens even more in urban school districts like FWCS.

Laws mandating year round school may never pass, but it seems that we are getting it in increments. Summer vacation still starts the first week of June, but it ends in the middle of August. Indiana State law mandates 180 instructional days per school year. Snow days have to be made up, extending the school year. IEP’s for special education students in FWCS now ask, is extended school year recommended. There are remedial programs that begin in June to reinforce what the students have learned and others that begin in July to prepare students for the coming school year. With these programs, many students in the district now attend school year round. We may never have legislation mandating year round school, but I believe it is coming in increments.

33rd Anniversary

On Friday, July 25, 1975, Karen Gentis and I became Mr. & Mrs. Michael Failor. Yesterday morning we drove to Fort Wayne from the lake and I dropped her off at the day spa where she enjoyed a day of pampering compliments of a friend. I went home where I mowed the lawn and brushed the cat. Back at the lake, I picked up my daughter, Abbey, and her friend, Joanne, and drove them back to Fort Wayne and dropped them off at Jefferson Pointe to shop and eat. I picked Karen up and took her to Biaggi's for dinner. We met up with the girls and drove to Auburn to see Journey to the Center of the Earth. The story was fine, but the 3D special effects were incredible! We then drove back to the lake.

Our hostess at Biaggi's asked us the secret to our long marriage. Karen said, first of all we both love Jesus. He makes all of the difference. I said that is true. But there has to be more than that, because church folks get divorced as much as non-church folks. You still have work at your marriage to make it work. Karen was when I married her and is now, my best friend. I would rather do things with her than anyone I know. In all of these years we've never allowed ourselves to even think, let alone say, the "D" word (divorce). Karen added that if you think about it you will talk about. If you talk about it you will do it. But the real truth is that we had an agreement, whoever left had to take the kids! :-)

Seriously though, when I asked Karen to marry me, I thought I knew what love was. 33 years later I know that love is so much more than I had thought. Love is commitment. It is putting someone else's needs before your own. Love is believing that your happiness depends on someone else's happiness. The love that I thought I had for Karen when I proposed on Feb. 9, 1975 pales in comparison to the love that I have for her 33 years later. It feels like we've always been married and it feels like we just got married yesterday at the same time.

My parents were married 59 years when my dad died. I pray Karen and I live long enough to match or surpass that record.

Door to door salesman at the lake?

Have you noticed that door to door sales have dramatically increased since the no call list went into effect? Well Friday afternoon while we are on vacation at the lake, there came a knock at the door. When I opened the door there was a salesman at the door. It was a young Amish man selling produce from his horse drawn buggy. That's the first time I've ever had an Amish door to door salesman call.

Vacation

I'm enjoying a week at the lake with my wife, kids, and in laws. I'm also writing a research paper for SPED 551, so I needed Internet access. There is a phone so we opted for Juno Speed Band. Its tolerable, but when we're used to FIOS 20/20 at home, its painfully slow. Since I was already online to research, I figured I might as well blog too.

I hope everyone is enjoying this warm summer weather.

Earning the Right to Speak

When I weighed 398 lbs. strangers and casual acquaintances would occasionally offer unsolicited advice on weight loss. I would simply say, thank you, and quietly withdraw from their company. They did not know me well. They did not know why I was overweight. They did not know how many ways I had tried to lose weight or how I had yo yo dieted from 276 lbs. to 398 lbs. over the previous 30 years. They simply had not earned the right, through relationship, to speak into my life.

Only when we have taken the time to get to know someone over an extended period of time do we earn the right to speak, uninvited, into their lives. We must wallow through the shallow in order to get to the deep. We must make small talk in order to get to the bigger issues. We may not get to influence, or more likely control, as many people; but those whom we do influence may be more appreciative.

Truth from Kung Fu Panda

My son, Adam, took me to see Kung Fu Panda as soon as it came out. There was a great line in the movie when Oogway, the sage, was talking to Master Shifu. Shifu was frustrated about having to train Po, the panda. He didn't think it was possible for Po to become a Kung Fu Master let alone become the one who would save the valley. Oogway looked at Shifu and said, "You must let go of the illusion of control."

Let me try to remove this from it Zen concepts. I am not a fatalist who believes that everything is fated and we have no choice. There are things, however, that are beyond our control. Oogway tells Shifu the he cannot tell the peach tree when to lose its petals. Shifu responds by hitting the tree and causing some peaches to drop, stating that he can tell it when to drop its peaches. He then pokes holes in the ground and plants the pits, stating that he can tell it where to plant its seeds.

Oogway says, yes but when it grows it will be a peach tree. You may desire an apple tree, but it will be a peach tree. He then states, you cannot change the nature of a thing.

When we try to control others, we deceive ourselves. We cannot change people's natures. We may insulate ourselves from others in an attempt to control our environment, but we have not exercised control. We have simply isolated ourselves and called it insulation.

When we let go of the illusion of control, we set ourselves free. Free to allow others to be themselves. Free to interact naturally instead of manipulating. Free to be out from under the control of others. Above all, free from the need to control.